Been a bit under the weather recently, and decide to talk about an area of life that we most certainly fail to address or cover up as something else…the ever increasing need to show off to others in a bid to feel better about ourselves.
A humongous trap! Made easy by technology and social networking – a few clicks here and there and it’s out there…the new shoes/car/vacation hubby “blessed” you with (forgetting to mention the new dark circles said hubby created on your eyes).
I’m not saying that it is always this extreme, but this need for folks to get “likes” and “comments” is getting out of hand. If you say you aren’t doing it for the ‘likes’ then don’t do it for a month and see how you feel!
So what does this have to do with relationships, ZeeZee? Well guess what? They are all linked because some people show off their “perfect” relationship because they are hoping it will hide the absolute hell they are living in. Don’t tell me you’re taking a picture or 100 every day because you “love your self”.
You feel a bit low, unloved, empty and think showcasing your expensive and luxurious lifestyle will lead you to happiness and cause others to envy your ‘fabulous’ life (aka ever growing shoe collection), but alas! After posting one, you can’t stop posting because the temporary high you experienced from the last post, becomes addictive.
Then the suffering begins!
Suffering to buy the newest, bestest (i know it isn’t a word, but you get it!) and latest of luxury goods, suffering to wake up mad early to put on a complete face of makeup before you head out to take the dog for a walk, or the kids to school, and suffering because you are still empty and get reminded of that each time you click on that button to take a picture that proves to people (because you are surely not convinced) that you are “worth” something!
Just doesn’t last. You need to begin thinking of improving your life and seeking validation from the ONE person that matters…YOU! So how do you begin this transforming process?
1. Be honest with yourself as healing starts when you acknowledge your shortcomings.
2. Get conscious! List out the activities you generally get involved in that might be proof that you seek validation from outside sources e.g. Always seeking attention, attacking social media with ‘100 selfies’ or every detail of your “perfect life” daily because you know people will tell you how great you’ve got it, doing tasks for others just so you could hear a “thank you, you’re awesome”, lying to get ahead etc.
3. Steer clear of all these activities that give you that “temporary high” and replace them with others that will uplift you. e.g. Read self-improvement books, your religion’s book of wisdom (the bible for us christians), hang out with people who are not materialistic or have shallow mindsets (figure this out by noticing what you talk about when you are with them).
4. Learn a new hobby or skill.
5. Keep at it! Never give up, as transforming your mindset and gaining a new way of thinking takes time.
There’s so much more to this than my ‘clogged up’ head could say right now. Need more help, then reach out to me.
Here’s to a new life of never needing anyone to validate you (and if you think you are doing all these attention seeking activity and don’t care what people say, go without it for a month and see how you feel :))
ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship. Through her website and YouTube channel she shares practical tips and principles that help couples understand the inner workings of a healthy marriage.