Social Media! Love it or hate it, it’s here to stay! (well so it seems)
Connections made in the comfort of ‘wherever’ and totally addictive that it could take over your entire life…real life that is!
I got an S.O.S ‘message in a bottle’ 😀 from a very concerned husband about his wife’s new foray into this vortex called social media. “As days go by”, he says, “she gets sucked in even more”. Things are left undone, she never handles her responsibilities, life is slipping away from her in the same manner that he is slipping away from her, all going totally unnoticed.
How can he “stop” his wife from throwing it all away?!
The first thing we do not do is assume we have control over our spouses to stop them from doing things they deem important to do. The only result of that is absolute frustration! Who wants to be married to an ‘enforcing officer’? This isn’t prison!
Learn how to approach your spouse without judgment or finger-pointing. When has anyone ever responded in a gentle manner to judgment? The second you attack your spouse, they do what comes naturally to soldiers in a war, they immediately put up their defences, as no one wants to be murdered by your weapons of warfare – aka your tongue.
The manner in which you approach your spouse regarding ANY issue you might face (because social media addiction surely isn’t the only issue married couples grapple with) is KEY to getting their attention long enough in order to solve whatever problem you both might be experiencing.
You have to be cool, calm and collected (because who wants to listen to the rants of a lunatic?). Then request to have a discussion about solving a problem the BOTH of you are experiencing (no finger-pointing, remember?). This way your spouse feels safe enough to want to hear what you have to say, without throwing up walls of protection against you.
When you experience any issue with your partner, it is extremely important that you separate the issue from the individual. Why? You just don’t want to lump them into “enemy” category. Making your spouse the problem, instead of the issue you are facing, makes them feel like they are not a part of your life and causes them to feel like an adversary.
Here’s what i mean. If your wife stays on social media for the bulk of her day, the problem isn’t your wife, the problem is what has suffered due to the prioritizing deficiency she might have. See what i mean? The problem is; the kids weren’t picked up on time, the house wasn’t well cared for or dinner wasn’t cooked. The second you both see the problems for what they are, the quicker you are able to find solutions to making them disappear.
So she isn’t the issue, her love for social media isn’t the issue, what doesn’t get done due to her obsession IS the real issue. Knowing this, you can both now discuss how to re-prioritize and get things back on track again, without making your spouse out to be the bad guy.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
Hoping you both find your way through the murky waters to the springs of life!
ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship. Through her website and YouTube channel she shares practical tips and principles that help couples understand the inner workings of a healthy marriage.