Those feelings hit us hard sometimes “something’s just not right with this situation”. You wonder why your spouse has become so cold and unattached all of a sudden, you don’t think s/he’s cheating, but in a weird sinister way, you feel they want to stifle you.
You are no longer the vibrant person you used to be because they have succeeded in isolating you from friends, family, and society. You might be okay with this, but not so much as they won’t even talk to you even after shutting you out from the rest of the world. The house is just as quiet as a cemetery and they aren’t flinching.
You try to discuss this and all you get is no real answer or a bunch of cock and bull reasons why you don’t have to work anymore, or why your sister coming around too often is just distracting or how that friend you’ve known since kindergarten, is just no good for you. Hmmm!
What do you do? You try mentors, pastors, family and they’re livid. Angry that you are exposing their business to the outside world and you retreat just so you don’t face their wrath. You find you have become a shadow of yourself, meek, fearful, irritable, sad, lonely, depressed (maybe suicidal). What do you do now?
In this video, i ask that you “take a break” from this “relationship” as it turns out it really isn’t one. The vows to love and protect and grow together have clearly been side-lined here. There is no relationship with no interaction and only dictation! This step might sound a bit brutal (or scary) but the important thing here is to bring that spouse to the table to discuss and work on your marital issues together.
Unfortunately, sometimes change never happens unless very hard moves are taken and this change is necessary so you can begin to live your life as God intended…with joy, peace and happiness. I am not asking you to divorce your spouse, i am asking that you get them to a point to get the necessary help to fix your relationship because if all this is happening, it clearly shows that things are not the way they ought to be.
When s/he comes to the table, do not take that as a sign that they are “healed” and jump back into your marriage, no! You both need to solicit the help of a counsellor who can help you both figure out what issues are prevalent in your marriage and give you step by step help to get things right again.
This might just be the step you need to take to get your marriage back to where you need it to be. I know it’ll take a lot, but except your spouse encounters a ‘bright light’ somewhere, expect things to pretty much remain the same. This separation isn’t one for doom, but one to help bring you back together as a strong unit.
Wish you all the best!
ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship. Through her website and YouTube channel she shares practical tips and principles that help couples understand the inner workings of a healthy marriage.