Do you really know what you are getting yourself into now that you have decided to get married? Does it feel like the next logical step in your life? Are you succumbing to parental or societal pressure (‘So and so is getting married and I should too’ OR ‘I am X age and should already be married’)?

Honestly, I am not sitting in judgment of whatever reason you might have or had for getting married. My job and purpose here is to prepare you for what lies ahead on this marital journey you’ve chosen and help you through whatever kinks you may have arrived at with your special someone. Today, I’d like to talk about marriage! More importantly, and very inline with my teaching style, we’ll touch on what marriage isn’t first, and then go on to what it actually is.

Marriage is not;

  1. Something you go into without careful consideration and the right information– These days, people rush into marriage and rush right out!
  2. It is not something you go into because you are ready for someone to take care of your entire needs; emotional, social, financial, spiritual, etc. Work on those by yourself. Go into marriage ready to give!
  3. You are not meant to always get your way in marriage. Before you go in, practice your negotiation skills! Finding common ground aka compromising is the doctor’s prescription for a healthy marriage.
  4. Marriage doesn’t exist to make you happy! For my couples who are married, this is one of the truths that hit them HARD! No one can make you happy! Not even prince charming. If you go into marriage believing your happiness is waiting there, expect the shocker of your life because all you have just done is change status, names, and physical locations but kept the same body and mind! Transform yourself, renew your mind and get happy before you get hitched!

There you go! A few important truths (I could actually go on, but surely this would turn into a sermon). I thought I should mention what marriage isn’t, as much as they sound like no-brainers, you would be surprised how many people silently enter into marriage for one unhealthy reason or the other.

So, what then is marriage? Why, when on the outside, does it deceive us into thinking it is the most amazing, love harboring, blissful bond, but once on the inside, prove that it is nothing short of a war zone where a few lives are created and we live as prisoners with no hope of a bright future? I say that marriage appears to be this way to many due to the misinterpretation of its true purpose and its misrepresentation for centuries.

To really understand marriage, you have to know what God intended when he created it! Yes! God! And as we all know, He is ALL and in ALL and IS Spirit! He intended for this union to be a joining of two people for the purpose of growth, for each person to help the other grow into their true self and together work towards achieving their life’s purpose. I am a proponent of the fact that we are not here on earth just to live, struggle OR party through life, and then one-day, die! I believe strongly that each one of us; a piece of God himself, is on earth to bring light to this world and make a difference with whatever talent He has bestowed upon us. We have work to do! This is one of the main reasons marriage is intended to be a lifelong commitment! How could you possibly work towards your life goals with someone when you keep getting in and out of marriage?

Marriage is the spiritual journey two people embark upon, towards the mutual goal of self-discovery for a greater purpose. The decision to let go of all egoism and embrace the change that a committed relationship requires to be strengthened must be mutually agreed upon. Falling in love is no longer for selfish gain, but for a selfless pursuit towards the true meaning of love! Letting your partner gain the power to truly know who you are, to access you deeply causing you to live in true freedom towards God’s purpose for your life.

The sad truth is that relationships fail and never last as intended, because the purpose of marriage has been maligned, and reduced to the worst of things; physical and material gain! Once things are not going the way we insist they should be, we bail!

If you are yet to tie the knot, I sincerely ask that you and your spouse seek more information about marriage and mutually decide to take on the ups and downs of this very engaging journey. If you are already married and did not know what you were getting yourself into, do not despair, it is still possible to get your marriage back on track. I have seen it over and over again how marriages in dire straits get revived and renewed for the best.

Research shows that the average couple waits 6 years after their main disagreement before they seek help, and this causes more damage than good to the marriage. Do not become a statistic, get help now and begin your way towards a blissful destiny.

To a marriage filled with purpose,

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About ZeeZee

ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship. Through her website and YouTube channel she shares practical tips and principles that help couples understand the inner workings of a healthy marriage.